NDLR: Well maybe I have to admit that I did not exactly follow the plan. I did not vomit and I switched Cobalt for Halo. And I went to bed at 5 a.m....so yeah..maybe I had fun. Here ! You're happy ? But some raw youth pierced my left leg and I had to crawl to my computer to write this and I lost my cap and broke my watch. Happy new year kiddos.
First, I’d like to confess that the enclosed image is stolen from Vividblurry’s 2006 New Year entry, but I felt it could benefit from a little additional exposition. So Happy New Year to you my little friends out there!. You know how much I appreciated your patronage in 2006 and look forward to spending additional time together in 2007.
I promise I’ll be more enthusiastic next year and maybe even blog about Saddam’s tragic death by hanging but can we all agree that New Year’s Eve sucks?. Where was I last year? In Paris with LL and I can remember feeling the same angst. I think this holiday finds me moodier than usual because I resent the pressure to have fun as a predicament of what’ll happen in the year to come. I have to be cheerful. I don’t do cheerful. I just don’t. Plus I have a zit right above my upper lip and I need to iron a shirt.
This year my strategy is much better: I’ll leave home by 11:00 p.m. already drunk as I really cannot afford to see any New Year’s Eve silliness sober. I’ll crawl to the party where I expect the Champagne to be of the best quality and the guests to be wealthy enough (these curbs are parallels) to guarantee a glib conversation. There I won’t make any attempt to small talk but stare with hostility to the youngest guests until midnight. When midnight hits, I’ll vomit on the carpet. At which point, I’ll stumble to Halo, find a stranger to return home with and call it a leap in the New Year.
I think I could have dealt with Max’s kind of New Year’s Eve this year or perhaps a Yoga seminar in Vermont. But then Max was clever enough to be in a relationship by New Year’s Eve and I don’t have the joints for Yoga. I can hear the entire humanity starting to have fun outside my apartment and it panics me. The pressure…