I am always amazed at how many activities people manage to fit in a given day. People row in the morning, take classes, have second job, take the bar exam, go out, entertain their girlfriends, read books, shop and listen to NPR. People watch TV shows regularly, cook for themselves and have somewhat successful relationships. When you ask them, they know what’s really happening in Iraq and they have plans for the summer. They f***ing live their life to the fullest (but they are clever enought not to mention it to me cos I would go wacko).
In the fog of my memory, I can only recall sitting there at the professional thingy with an odd expression of panic (which is often mistakened by my colleagues for blankness) and then collapsing into my 9 hours clonazepam-sponsored coma days after days. I must have time to do stuff like everybody else though because I have everything delivered, refuse to take public transportation since 1981 and have a cleaning lady.
So today I wrote down everything I did and then during that silly drug-free 20 minutes window which occurs between 8 and 9 p.m, I read it aloud in front of the bathroom mirror. I had acunpucture this morning (no particular disease in mind, thanks for asking). Apparently I answered a call from my mother even if I have no idea what was said. I bought a “Don’t eat me, I love you” pig T-shirt on e-bay size M. I found a place for Nicolas C. to crash on the W-E of the 27th in NYC. I had lunch with Savvas P., Juan V. and two Brazilian guys from OAS one of which had really wide shoulders (no memories of that conversation either). I took an hour class in Portuguese (no idea what I was expected to learn). Mentioned something about Yoga to everybody I ran into and said “post-9-11” twice in the same conversation with a busboy. I answered two inquiries from friends about my job. I also got allergy shots and picked up some pictures at the frame shop. I sent for $2,000 of bills to my health insurance. Wrote a nasty “no” to Jesse S. (which used to be my hero a month ago) in an e-mail. I placed e-mails by Mark H., Ari S. in my junk inbox. I checked friendster and facebook every 15 minutes with tears running down my face. I googled “Effexor” for 20 minutes. I biked to and from work. I changed two bulbs in the living room. I listened to whole albums of Shirley Bassey and The Pretenders.