The guests at FHC’s yesterday briefly evoked somber topics such as the chaos going on at the Professional thingy, religion or the Virginia bloodbath. I like to keep my diner parties conversation non-controversial (calling a 3 people gathering, a “dinner party” is a stretch moreover as I don’t really own chairs and my friends are drunks). As usual, after twenty minutes, the conversation switched in a trice from human rights to sex and relationships.
One of the guest argued that urban gay men are single (besides Chris R. ironically) because they are all waiting to fall in love with men who cumulate good looks, depth, creativity and maturity. In his opinion, such a combination – the boyfriend myth -- hardly ever occurs in nature and even less in cities like ours. Examples could be some freak who lived secluded on a desert island, some hippie’s settlement or Nebraska until his mid-twenties; someone who became good looking late in life or some guy with a profound understanding of Taoism (which I would personally suspect of plotting a terror attack). Additionally, these very rare occurrences being on high-demand are virtually impossible to win-over. The very basic assumption in the argumentation is that good looks naturally drive people to shallowness and dissolute fearful lives in gay urban settings and ultimately turn them into non-human enchained conformist primates. One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong by Leonard Cohen was playing in the background of course.
Isn’t it a charming explanation? One could even add that after all the reason behind this general quest is that we try to escape the guilt of our own shallowness by dating people with a spark of individuality. The guest continued on recommending that the solution would be for (us) shallow people to settle for other shallow people. It reminded me of that e-mail I received recently “I give it a couple of weeks before that dude realizes that [his boyfriend] has no depth and absolutely nothing to say. Then again, this guy doesn't seem like the type who would notice anyway”. As a draconian measure, I decided that I would not go out this week-end to avoid perpetuating this vicious circle.