Healthy alternatives to binge drinking anyone ?

What happened to drinking heavily on Saturday nights exactly ? It used to be such a smart, healthy, harmless move. It meant easy fun, memory loss, poor choices, being recklessly irresponsible and was the foundation of most of my relationships and one night-stands. Of course occasionally, I would fall asleep, blackout, rape my date, attempt suicide or even fall in the street but it was all good: on Sunday it was over and we would laugh about it at Brunch at Sette. Ah ah good times indeed ! J. These days drinking, even reasonably (like yesterday: I recall 4 beers and two drinks), requires two weeks of recovery, nurturing my hangover and implies a very painful Sunday and at least a dramatic Monday. It all starts on Sunday morning around 6-7 a.m when I wake up dehydrated with terrible stomach pains, mental confusion, sinus congestion and nervousness. It will take me four hours to slide from my bed stumble to the bathroom usually to face terrible physical damages in the mirror. When you live on 17^th street, having puffy eyes over dark circles is a death sentence and forbids you to even go buy the paper. As I usually have a terrible headache anyway, I could not even read "Pearls before swine" if I wanted. So I usually lay there in my bed most of Sunday in a vegetative state with ice cubes over my eyes drinking my tears and coughing. Only around 7 p.m., will I regain enough energy to get a chicken soup and maybe watch a silent Charlie Chaplin movie while hoping to be back on my feet by Monday. How naïve, it is really on Monday morning that the hangover kicks in. I will wake up extremely tired, with a serious cold, looking like Kermit the Frog and unable to have any intellectual activity. As if it is not enough to feel shitty on Monday, my colleagues will make comments such as “You really look exhausted”, “What are these bruises under your eyes ?” or “Funny, it looks like you gained weight over the WE !” (some people don’t know that in my world such a comment is a declaration of war). I will usually feel crappy for a few days after that with my ulcer acting and my week will seem like a Calvary. I even started a hangover mitigation strategy: eating well before going out, getting light drinks, never mixing liquors, stopping moonshine, pacing my drinking but it did not work. I am just too old to drink. What is life about when binge drinking is not an option anymore ? how am I expected to enjoy Saturday nights without getting hammered ? I guess I’ll just have to upgrade my netflix membership to 5 movies a week or switch to Methamphetamines like everybody else in the hood.

I started drinking early yesterday evening with dearest Kristen L. (very hammered too but much younger than I) at my friend’s Madalina P.’s party after LL abandoned me for NYC. Yesterday was also Karl’s 28th birthday and I ended up there by accident. There was a cute guy called Mark, the Gs as well as well endowed Kevin N. who refused to tell me more about his fall out with Alex S. for the second time I believe. As I am still in a liquorish coma, I will end this entry with a blog review. If you needed the proof that in DC not only gay males are bastards: visit this blog. Sadly, this one is also very funny. On the other hand, you still have your usual straight right wing moron blog (Oh I shouldn't say that) who describes his own blog as (I quote) “This blog is written by a conservative with a sense of humor who often posts insightful links with a needed dose of hilarity” (such a statement will only worsen my hangover). Or this more nuanced and funnier republican one. And for desert, the latest on the Ladner scandal we mentioned earlier this month, in this blog or this blog (yesterday someone was telling me Ladner’s predecessor was a pedophile, there is some progress indeed).

Comments

[Alexandre]

Do not worry FHC, tomorrow I will tell you that you look great... that you never looked more desirable...

[Benjamin]

One word, my friend: ASPIRIN. befoire you pass out into an alcohol-induced coma, *try* to drink a tall glass of water and 1000mg of aspirin. NEVER fails.