Who said compulsive automedication ?

I am sick again but this time not for drinking but most probably for over-auto-medicating a little insomnia I endured last night. It included 4 or 5 trips to the drugs cellar in the night, cautiously making just enough noise to wake up LL and share my distress with him. I used Zicam in my nose thinking I might be affected by a sinus infection, threw in a few Tums for the hell of it, gobbled 1 or two additional Buspar in order to alleviate my suffering, used Nasonex in case I developed an allergy to my bed during my time away, a Zantac for heartburn relief and yes an Ethex because they are cute shiny little blue pills. I had difficulties digesting this homemade blend and had to take some stomach related pills in the morning with my usual morning prescription drugs which include Clarinex and other non-communicable drugs such as Propecia. I practice medicine on a “try-fail” basis. If I die today, the autopsy will be full of surprises : my stomach will look like a pack of smarties. Anyway I feel slightly under the weather today and could not call in sick as it would have looked suspicious after a week of vacations. If you have vicious plans to interact with me on a first name basis please wait for early next week, I should be fine by then. I used my restless night to draft my obituary and think of a caption for this week New Yorker’s caption contest . It is not as good as Kevin D.’s irreverent idea for the enclosed cartoon which was “"Funny, they don't taste Jewish". David M. won with this silly caption: "Remember that time you made me laugh and people came out of my nose?".I'll give you my idea for this week early next week.

If you think it could not get worse, try to imagine how humiliating it is when you come back from vacation and cannot find the combination to your locker and all of your colleagues wonder if you are trying to break in the locker of someone else. This was my case in a tank top, sweating and trying desperately to remember my combination (12,8,2) while all of my bicycle riding colleagues strolled in. Will I get the "most dysfunctional employee of the month” award ?

The DMV horror picture show is scheduled for 1 pm tomorrow. The DMV questionnaire is a challenge to me as I have no notions whatsoever of speed or distances. What are 30 miles/hour ? can someone describe it to me ? Speed is something you have to live, you cannot figure it out. Same thing with distance what are 30 feets ? about 17 LL lining up ? How am I suppose to understand such a concept ? I suggested gathering 17 persons to line up in the Terminal yesterday but LL rolled his eyes three times.

Question no5. You are driving up to an intersection where there is no signal light or policeman. A man is crossing in the cross walk in front of your car. You should:

a. Continue into the intersection because you have the right-of-way

yes… I will continue and slaughter the freak because this is my RIGHT ! because the DC city code says so: you cross out of the sidewalk, I KILL YOU and your entire family.

Among other news of various levels of interest, Miss Adams Morgan 2006 will take place on October 22^nd, 2005. Also the HRC dinner will be on Saturday October 1^st (add picture). I assume everybody read the worrisome Washington Post article on HIV in the district that was forwarded to me by Sergio P. You have to promise not to tell Andrew S. that LL drove an SUV in Napa, it would be a Results faux-pas. It is my duty to support John M. in his noble endeavor to start a blog. I am flattered to appear on the As blog and is appalled that Gabriel A. “ne reconnait plus personne en Harley Davidson”. Everybody was crying the departure of BT today symbolically on his 29^th birthday while Ashley claims that this is his last karaoke night at Cobalt. Talking of female impersonators, I found out Cookie Buffet’s website for your viewing pleasure. Also here is a ferocious teacher, the serious kind that makes september a gloomy period. To the frequent guests that write to tell me my blog is uninteresting, I wanted to offer different alternatives: Toby in Wonderland: or the Socialite Life: your pick.

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