Crooked teeth is the post-modern socialism

Disclaimer: this entry inappropriateness level on a 1 to 10 scale is a 6. Children, sensitive readers and pregnant women should just visit the live prayer blog instead  .

I have been told I have a  bad Karma these days, the chain on my bike broke this morning and I ended up with stains on my white shirt and awful Kevin D. placed my toothbrush in the toilet bowl again (but this time he was honest enough to send me a picture of his crime). He thought that would made me cry, bad timing FF Kevin D. !, I actually had an appointment with Dr. Dan C. this morning and he gave me a free brand new toothbrush.

I worship my dentist, he was selected purely based on physical consideration at first and yet he actually happens to be also competent (a bit like LL was solely selected on his looks and happens to be also very bright, or Kevin D. was selected exclusively out of charity and he also happens to be a pain). Or at least, he finds a few cavities at my bi-annual visits and I feel taken care of. However, I have been resisting very badly to his campaign to force me to use dental floss (not really an invitation as he threatens me with gum disease and teeth loss in the short term) as I believe this is a scam. I refuse to use dental floss because it is degrading and I think you should follow my advice. In the first place nobody needs to floss. My great grandparents never flossed and probably rarely brushed their teeth and yet they almost died with a relatively complete set of teeth. I already imagine your stupid comments about Spanish hygiene: well I have news for you: the US obsession with hygiene is freakish, scary as well as pathological. The dentist association is so wicked that they have been lobbying historians (probably offering them free cleanings and root canals) to make you believe that “Grooves have been found in the teeth of prehistoric humans from dental floss ...” . DON’T BELIEVE THEM, nobody ever flossed until dentists started to feel that they needed to insufflate a bit more fear among their patients to increase their cash flow (Call 1-800-NOFLOSS now).

The other scam, in my opinion, is the perfect teeth scam. Self-improvement is revolting, but physical self-improvement is just plain decadent. I read that “87% [of the American Population] think one's smile is crucial to their self esteem”, that says it all: I say skip the dentist visit and go directly commit suicide. My friend’s parents spent their cleaning lady yearly income in having orthodontist manufacture a perfect smile for them and now their kids wear them as a status symbol while it is just a symbol of their lack of depth. You self-absorbed middle-class f***ers !. Artificial teeth should be considered a taxable asset. The new-rich also have their teeth whitened regularly which is another way to claim loudly that they are shallow superficial f**cks. When I was single, I would open my candidate trick’s bathroom closet and if I would find one of these over-the-counter whitening kits, I would slam the door. A good example is that even Kevin D. is now thinking to have his teeth whitened: while it is obvious to everybody that his real problem is the blackness of his soul. As I mentioned in a previous entry the reason why the Washington Blade is filled by real estate and dentist ads is because gays today are the fringe of the population that is the most eager to be integrated and is ready to sacrifice everything to fit in (I don't blame them). We are going slowly towards a world filled exclusively with real-estate agents, dentists, psychologists and lawyers and this perspective makes me barf. How many pumped-up, teeth whitened, tanned, colored hair, self-improved, diesel jeans wearing, ridiculously tattooed, groomed, hands pampered fagot can our earth support? Not one more. It is time to stop indulging in the media-fueled physical appearance rat race and admit that ugly is the new beautiful (Call 1-800-CROOKED now).

I have a dream of a nation filled with crooked stained “Deliverance”-like teeth people that don’t floss and I am ready to fight for it.

Comments

[myke]

i am shocked! aghast! seriously flumoxed at this entry. of course, it could be because 4 thousand dollars and 4 years later, i got braces off my teeth in march of this year. and i was over 30 when i had them put on. how decadent is THAT??