Dedicated to the damaged memory of FHC

I was supposed to have lunch with someone relatively important (a minor important person) today but I forgot and did not show up. When he called me in the afternoon slightly exasperated, I had to pretend I thought we had agreed on another date. I am not talented at playing “pretend”, I just sounded like a liar….but a lie is always better than formal apologies in my opinion (which is the main reason why my relationships were so successful so far): even if, as Montaigne once stated, “He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying”. I started forgetting things a while ago, mostly appointments, passwords and minor events: the kind of small things that drive the people around me insane. Not important stuff: important stuff I have to intentionally binge drink to forget. I wish I had the ability to forget important stuff though: I would erase most of my experiences and human interactions as well as some humiliating memories in gym class in high school. No, I forget small insignificant stuff like my birthdate, the place where I left my keys, or taking my laptop to the office in the morning. In computer language we would say that my “primary memory” is very bad or that my brain needs more “memory chips”. In human language, we say that I did too much crack in my youth and that I really need to calm down on pain killers and sniffing glue. As I am a selfish bastard I do not mind people expressing their frustration with my lack of reliability but this memory thing became a bit threatening to my life. I forgot a few times that I had already taken my sleeping pills two, or three times in the evening which led me to 15 hours sleeping binges and occasionally a few minor overdoses. I also regularly forgot my shrink appointments. And we all know that happiness is about managing your meds well and seeing your therapist and shrink regularly. Finally, Kevin D. ended up charging me rent twice a month and that was a strong signal I needed to react. So I now I use these very tacky “Weekly schedule” and To Do lists. But it does not work perfectly because sometimes during the nano second between the time I hang up the phone and start writing on the “Weekly Schedule” list, I forget about the dat and time of the meeting I just agreed upon. Also the “Weekly Schedule” includes a whole system of dots and crosses I had designed and of which I forgot the meaning. I also have this very dangerous list of passwords that I always carry with me and refer to, I put a sticker on the back of my gym locker with the combination and I write down what I read and watch on a piece of paper in case someone asks me about my pseudo-cultural life (mostly my abuela).

I also forget names and people are convinced I am a snob. That is partly true; it is not my fault if in the US everybody is either called Brian, Steve, Kevin or John. That is the reason why I always try to remember people’s last names (like Sean Cador…that’s easy to remember). Yet we have to confess that the primary reason I forget names is because people are insipid and their individual experiences always sound the same. I have a nice tactic though, when I run into someone whose name I can’t remember, I ask “Do you know my boyfriend/roommate/friend, X ?” and usually they introduce themselves and I catch their names. For girl’s names, I just completely lack interest, and if needed I do not hesitate to tell them “could you remind whose faghag you are exactly ? your name might come back to me”.

In blogorama today, thank you to Kevin McG. who sent a cute little cartoon that summarizes very well my feeling about my blog. This blog is also very brute, I had heard this WE the joke about the famous NYC bar the Cock strategic move... from Chris R. I believe.

Comments

[Amaury]

I have to say that I experience that phenomenon as well. Maybe some genetic manipulation could be useful ?

The AFTE(Association for Spanishies Threatened with Extinction) makes several recommandations :
- eat chocolate,
- consider early retirement (I try both methods).

Brgds - AHO