Some astute but perturbed reader angrily writes that I could have shared my impressions of 
fascinating NYC instead of my bowel movements yesterday in my entry. Well I sincerely think it would be less controversial to talk about exciting new treatment options for bowel cancer patients than my true opinion of NYC. But you’re the boss.
§ First we all know that I visit LL and his entourage and not NYC. Like in WDC, we spend our time exclusively in self-indulgent naps, eating muffins filled with laughing cow cheese and only venture out to get more consistent meals. I refuse to be coerced by peers into doing any additional cultural, physical or social activity during the WE or eating severely stylized meals just because we are in New York and there is “so much to do” and so many pompous restaurants. Sure, we sometimes hang out with some friends down there during the day between two naps: we even swung by Gagosian Saturday with Alex A. two streets away from LL’s mansion but mostly LL, conscious that I could snap very quickly in a change of environment situation, tries to recreate the WDC experience in NYC (even KMZ got a cute little Siamese kitten outfit to wear during my stay).
§ Second I don’t know anything about NYC. I always have to call LL to ask him his address when I get to La Guardia and could not figure out the location of his place on a map. LL even places a little card in my pocket when I get there which says: “If you find FHC (who is relatively unfriendly but not dangerous at all!), plz take care of him! call 1-800-FHC-LOST, or notify RSPCA Spanishmen warden”. We do wander at night with our friends because we are night time alcoholics but I have no idea where in Manhattan LL accuses me of intentionally avoiding learning a single thing about streets, neighborhood, buses and subways and I think he is right. I cannot remember the name of any restaurant, street or neighborhood we ventured in this WE.
§ Third, I don’t even believe in NYC. Atrocious working conditions, beautiful people everywhere, and unbelievably long hours of public transportation, individual ambitions, poor diet, fashion dictate, overpriced real estate and rapacious landlords: I actually hated NYC with such passion during my first years in the US that I would only agree to go there if drugs at the Cock were involved. New York City offers some of the most exciting opportunities for those who are into contracting tuberculosis and competing in the rat race: I am not. I also find the cheesy pride of New Yorker in their city a bit nauseating and sticky: I mean sure it is all very charming but in the end isn’t NYC an overcrowded slum, with over sophisticated restaurants, sly sweat shops and ill mannered notorious coughing intellectual bores ? Not long ago in this damn city an overly dressed woman on a bike yelled at me : “what the f*ck do you think you’re doing ?” while I was crossing the street and some dude at a party apologized that he "did not get time to pick up some wine but [he] brought a gram of coke and hope that’s ok !” : NYC is psychologically and physiologically unhealthy for FHC.
To summarize, as someone once said “New York is a third-rate Babylon”, can we talk of FHC’s digestive system now ?
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