Encounter of the third kind with America’s drunken elite !

It was bound to happen. While at the Yale-Harvard game, the ex-high-school-nerds-future-elite frantic and desperate binge drinking habit rubbed on me with annoying consequences such as getting terribly stomach sick, almost getting arrested by New Haven COPS because I was inadvertently peeing on someone BMW’s SUV (they asked me to wipe the wheel and I refrained to shout a drunken “nazis” thereby probably avoiding to be detained in New Haven for eternity) and joining the Yale Club of Israël by pledging my entire savings account. It was culturally awakening to see for the first time a large crowd of corduroy wearing adult human beings devote an entire day to comparing their moves after college, their level of happiness, their amount of extramarital sex, their world travel experiences and their address in New York (more than Yale Vs Harvard it sounded like Merril Lynch vs JP Morgan or the how well did you cash in your diploma ? contest) – needless to say that LL did not compare so well - as well as remembering the time their roommate had a threesome with two horny Asian girls (why do we never read that in the New York Times bios: “…As an undergraduate at Yale, Liu Cheng (Davenport '03, Slut) participated in many threesomes”). To summarize it the first thing KMZ asked when we came back in NYC was “Is anyone dating someone cute or.,…horrendous ?”. It feels like I met thousands of distinguished yet affected blond girls who told me that “currently I am saving Pandas in the Andes but I think I’ll apply to law school after my Arctic trip this summer” and commented “they are so cute !” referring to my drunken display of affection towards LL as if we were some kind of Bichon frisés or something. I mostly remember sitting in the trash next to Alex R., a ridiculous band, getting worried over a potential tailgate-bombing and banging at the door of Skull and Bones shouting that I wanted to “participate in the plot for world domination”. I did not see no game at all and nobody found useful to inform me that Yale lost (pathetically) to Harvard until this morning. We went to bed at 8:30 pm yesterday (which explains why LL, even if I insisted, did not blog yesterday jeopardizing the future of our already shaky relationship) and it will take me years to recover from this alcohol abuse to a reasonable level of awareness but I think it was sociologically enlightening. The Ivy League might always have attracted America (and incidentally Japan)'s best and brightest but not always the cutest (LL’s friends apart of course).

Comments

[Chira[c]]

I have to say, I am a little offended none of the pictures of me made the cut. Parisian keeping the brown man down...typical.

[LL]

That is completely my fault ... I will never forgive myself. I am a lousy friend and a lousy boyfriend.

[Alex R.]

Let's be clear. I was not sitting in the trash my friend, you were. I believe you were drinking that bright blue liquid out of the small bottle and it was right before you vomitted on davenport.

[DC-er]

The lemmings-like followers of The Preppy Handbook will wholeheartedly endorse this post, particularly the bit about JP Morgan vs. Merrill Lynch.

[Chira[c]]

I feel much better about myself now, thanks!

[myke]

i'm just shocked! aghast! .. that you have completely ignored the edict to desist with the black line over the eyes.

[Fagat]

We are devastated that there were no pictures of us on this post. Also, that we missed the part when FHC was his most drunk, because we heard that was the bestest.