Your usual disclaimer: The days get shorter and LL’s self-hating weekly entries are increasingly irreverent, I should get back on XL and he should move back to Iowa.
The first rule of the gay community is don’t ever refuse free blow, nasal or oral. The rule was first 
created in the ‘70s, when FHC was young and gorgeous, because it encouraged hot, unprotected group sex. But then came the 1980s, and the Reagan Revolution proved once and for all that drugs cause AIDS and AIDS cures fags, and self-restraint in our community became a virtue. Thank god September 11th changed all that. Now active cocaine use promotes social responsibility. Here’s why:
- Those of us in the liberal, educated, bourgeois class can’t just ignore the poverty and suffering of those who the Western World has left behind. Without cocaine, where would Maria Full of Grace get her livelihood? If cocaine consumption dropped, how could Colombian drug mules accumulate frequent flyer miles and attain Star Alliance Elite Status?
- Cocaine as become so en vogue these days it’s even replaced a cheap bottle of Bordeaux as the obligatory house-warming or dinner party gift. Emily Post recently argued that refusing drugs is despicably impolite, and that a host should always have a moist, monogrammed cloth ready to plug a bloody nose.
Oh, and please, do us all a favor and make sure it’s the good stuff.
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