Today is a very special day in the magic world of the amazing FHC: the one month anniversary of my RAZRV3 purchase and coincidentally the 60th anniversary of the start of the Nuremberg trials. As it took more than three months to buy what is now known as FHC’s cell phone, I decided there would be no decadent anniversary party or anything but that instead I’d courageously take a peak inside the owner’s manual for the first time and maybe set myself the ambitious goal of buying a “holiday’s song ringtone” such as Rupaul the Red-Nosed Drag Queen from (LL…hint…hint… Christmas gift idea coming up) my favorite Christmas album (one of my ex ran off with it on Christmas’s Eve 2002 - sad sad story). Back to my “razor”, as us young people say, to make things even more difficult, there is actually two manuals “Your [my] Welcome Guide” by T-mobile - 35 pages (double if you count the Spanish version) - and “Motomanual” by Motorola – 102 pages + an 18 legal information guide on special recyclable paper. Motomanual does not qualify as a booklet: I am sorry but that’s what I call a full book. I really wish I was a Pilgrim. What is nice is that they have a Highlight Features part for people like me that have little hope to go further than the first 10-20 pages of the booklet. I went as far as “viewing your phone number” and “take a self-portrait”. I love learning new tricks from the outset. I decided to stop my learning experience altogether after I started looking online how to enable Bluetooth on my computer. I posted a question on one of those tech chat rooms and the answer I received was: “You are a loser. You need to get a life. You need to go get laid. Stop talking about some gay cell phone you have and get a blowjob. And go back to China”. I am not from China and I have no idea what a “gay cell phone” is. I need to buy a new computer. I felt excited to read that Brad Pitt will live in the hood today. And also is it ok to be jealous of very young and incredibly successful people with perfect skin, I ran into one today and felt desperately envious ? |
a gay cell phone says "HHHHAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!" whenever you answer it.
shit. that was way to easy. (and cheesy). Will i be ex-communicated from the china (er, gay?) communist regime for that one?
Posted by: damien | Wednesday, November 23, 2005 at 03:35 PM
My [your] back-fat is really inappropriate.
Posted by: LL | Wednesday, November 23, 2005 at 05:55 PM
I hope to one day pen a novel as luminous as the Razr instruction manual.
Posted by: Toby | Thursday, November 24, 2005 at 11:13 AM