Disclaimer: LL himself just said "it's really stupid" ! WORD
Um, can we discuss how this holiday is ridiculous? I don’t mean that in the “didn’t the pilgrims actually slaughter all the Indians after the first Thanksgiving and, in that case, why are we celebrating genocide” sort of way.
No, what I mean is that people really stretch the things for which they offer thanks. The prime example is Mayor Michael J. Bloomberg, who, after a gigantic balloon came crashing down onto a woman and her child during the Macy’s parade causing near death, reminded us of how stupid “giving thanks” really is: “’We should be thankful none were more seriously hurt,’ Mayor Michael Bloomberg said.” I’m sorry, but, bonjour, is that like me saying, “Dearest friends, on this holiday I’m glad I wasn’t born into poverty. Or with down syndrome.”
Since we’re now permitted to be happy that life isn’t drastically worse, I’d like to share with you the Top Ten Things for which I Give Thanks (but for which other people are suffering)
10. I don’t live here.
9. I’m not being indicted just so the government can detain me even longer.
8. My bf isn’t a cross-dressing blogger moonlighting at the US Attorney’s office and embarrassing himself publicly in the New Yorker.
7. MS Word doesn’t keep reformatting this list so that the numbers go up, from 1-10, instead of down, from 10-1. Ok, actually that’s something that’s really pissing me off.
6. My mother didn’t give away her ova.
5. Nick and Jessica learned what it actually means to tie the Windsor knot.
4. I’m not an elderly Katrina evacuee.
3. Another hurricane (hilariously called “Delta” because we’ve run out of names) is headed towards Florida.
2. At least John Kerry is good at something.
1. I’m with my bf for the holiday.
Comments