FHC’s resurrected blog : FHC's RZR V3 amazing day of romantic fun

I left my cell phone at home today which was quite traumatizing. Thank god, Kevin D. was kind enough to send me a picture of it with the following caption: “Today we follow a day in the secret life of FHC's mobile phone, Mobius. Here we see Mobius charging up for the long day ahead of him. Charge, Moby, Charge!”. Which was quickly followed by “Now is the time on Sprockets when Mobius studies german. Was fur ein Mann mochtest du, mein freund?”. Later on in the day we got “Mobius has many concerts this weekend and must practice in order to do his best. (please don't ask him about his gimpy hand. He's ever so sensitive about it.)” . After that Mobius had to run to Dr. Cave's office (or stroll... I don't know how cells move) “Moby has just remembered that he has a dentist appointment and hasn't brushed his teeth since the '90s. How embarrassing for Moby!” and finally “Mobius helps an attractive but slightly retarded homosexual man make a phone call to his AA sponsor. "Whatever it is I think I see... becomes a G and T to me!"”. What a morning RAZR !

We all thought it was finished then but it continued during lunchtime. “Moby and Spongebob meet, and instantly there are sparks. If Moby and Spongebob are attracted to each other, does that make them gay? They ARE inanimate objects.”. After that Moby apparently had an extramarital affair “While Moby may have had a small lapse in his newfound love affair (i.e. sex with wh*rish LL), he has fully commited himself to Spongebob in a manner matrimonious.”. Then my cell unfortunately became bulimic: “Now that Mobius has settled with his life-mate, he can really let himself go. The first thing he does is gorge on laughing cow cheese. Laughter is contagious!”. At 1:30 pm Mobius apparently celebrated his birthday (I don’t know how old he got but I still have not received my rebate from T-mobile so he must still be very young) “Oh my god! I totally forgot that it's Moby's birthday today. Did any of you remember to send him a card or a stripper or some crystal meth?” (apparently moby is into non-prescription drugs ...like daddy). 2 pm Kevin D. sent me a Moby collectible “Mobius in a martini glass, negative, circa 2005.”. After that Moby (not under my supervision) had a near death chemically enhanced experience “Moby experiences a bad drug trip. Magic mushrooms.... Or FUNGUS OF DEATH?!?! Good for you Moby. Finally we were told that “Mobius has had a long day, what with the crossword and the smoking and the marriage and the cheese and the martini and the drugs. Now he just wants to recharge.” .

Still he managed to get busted smoking a few minutes later ! You are such a rebel RAZR ! and that would be "Practicing can be so monotonous! Moby breaks up practicing with frequent, ravenous smoke breaks. "take 5," he says. More like "take CANCER!" don't you think?"

Next (I understand this is endless... I'll never forget my RAZR anywhere else), "Moby relaxes with the afternoon crossword. Anyone know a 6 letter word for inane? Starts with S."

Memo to self: Ask friends if they could get Kevin D. a job….oh and ask Mobius if Kevin D touched him inappropriately.

In non-RAZR V3 related news….Clearly that link of the now infamous trading spouses episode (via our friend KMZ and malcontent) is the scariest thing ever published on my blog. I however must say that Margaret might not only be exhausted from spiritual warfare but also maybe by a little overweight problem. Anyway I found a nice follow-up interview with Mrs. Perrin and am glad to say that soon she has offers for a preacher career.