What's the big deal about Paris? So far, except for the fact that the computer keyboards are ridiculous, 
it's exactly like Washington; FHC bumps into his old tricks, I can't understand a word he says (in French or English), and we pretty much spend our day eating and napping. FHC's test of his French friends is to ask whether they know who Oprah Winfrey is. None of them have had a clue, and when he explains to them that her claim to fame, in addition to having approximately one billion dollars, was getting kicked out of Hermes for looking like a North African, their only response is <<naturellement>>. The only difference being in Paris is that, unlike DC, this city actually is pretty so everywhere we go I have to pretend I'm appreciating the surroundings when really I'm just constantly hungry.
We spent today at the Louvre were we checked out a bunch of hot Eastern European guys checking out some Greek sculpture. I haven't read the Da Vinci Code yet, so it's fairly difficult to understand what it's all about; the only thing I learned is that the French evidently are too sophisticated to say <<Mona Lisa>> so they call her <<La Joconde>>. Yeah, well fine, why doesn't everyone call me Shut the Fuck Up you pretentious French fucks? Oh, and speaking of which, everyone at the Louvre walks around with cameras. Because none of their friends back in Maine knows what the Mona Lisa looks like.
In gay news, we spent last night at Cobalt Rive Gauche with approximately seven former DC homosexuals (they still sleep with men, only now they're all uncut.) None of them (except RAPB, obvi) had heard of, let alone seen, Brokeback Mountain, and they all yawmed at the description of a <<gay cowboy movie>>, which only reinforced the impression that what's hot in Paris (Gérard Depardieu as Jean de Florette) doesn't nearly compare with what's hot in the US (Heath Ledger barebacking Jake Gyllenhall).
Hey! Why you gotta hate on Maine like that??
Posted by: Fagat | Sunday, January 01, 2006 at 06:06 PM