Miss me yet ? FHC returns and he is really angry at YOU

Isn’t FHC some kind of an amazing and modern Robinson Crusoë? Isolating himself more or less intentionally from all modern technologies for more than 5 days to get to know himself a bit more  (even if some could claim he had hidden motives). It might be an extremely complex concept to grasp for you, wealthy westerner gender-confused blog-reading overpaid spoilt brats, but there are still areas in the World where people are not able to access CNN.com five times a day, check out the latest beach pictures of Ricky Martin in his tiniest trunks and have no i-pods. I wish I could be as unsophisticated, unworldly, uncultured, money-oriented and rapacious as you are but as you can see from the enclosed picture I am adventurous, have huge responsibilities and do not fear any wild animal. However, this digital isolation was quite painful and I have to admit that from time to time, I would turn-on my computer and click anyway on the “view wireless network” just in case the whole f**king technology gap had been filled during the night.

I felt quite destabilized as I wasn’t able to read any of the daily reports usually required from LL when I travel and he is left alone to the NYC predators we all know too well. I quote one of his report I just read for your utter delight: ”a day in my life without FHC is like a blank page of emptiness and loneliness”…and a few lines below “F., said to me, “I had a crush on you all during college.””…wh*re…this blank page got stained pretty quickly, didn’t it now ?. Neither was I able to grant him the many “exceptional going out” requests that must fill my inbox right now with probably a disastrous impact on his social life as well his extra-marital affair with Fagat. I lived in constant angst over all the internet events I was missing: my stocks were probably plummeting while all my friends and colleagues were wondering what happened to their witty and slightly handsome French friend. Let alone the fact that I could not access any pornographic imagery during that period and as a consequence had no other recourse than constant adultery during these five days. Those who love me will understand and use the train.

All in all, I was in constant angst during the trip thinking I had lost my precious readership, jeopardized my fragile yet enjoyable relationship, imperiled my balance and waist line (not directly because of the Internet shortage though – rest assured that the plan is to go for a run at lunch time as soon as tomorrow. FHC will never surrender to physical ballooning), was not able to monitor the H5N1 for my fearless readership (someone has to) and endangered my already minuscule savings

Apparently I was only wrong for my readership. Not only did my four readers continued their charitable daily visits (we still deeply appreciate your patronage here at FHC’s) but I actually registered a new user, Bryan, even if deep inside I know it might just be a nom de plume for dearest LL. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Frenchbenj for sending me an e-mail showing clear sign that someone worried for me in the states instead of partying like a rock star at Hiro over my death.

Comments

[Bryan]

Wait. Then who took the pictures?

[FrenchBenj]

who wears leather shoes and khakis at the beach? WHO?!

[Alex A]

Finally you are back. I had severe withdrawal symptoms, nausea, vomiting, cramps. Finally, I got my fix of FHC. Please do not leave us all without you for an entire five days...

[LL]

I can't believe "LL Freedom Week 2006" has already come to an end.

PS - Match Point with Fagat was awesome.

[iLoveSushi209]

what on earth are you doing to that poor ass?

[Fagat]

We are still regretting the fact that we told LL "Match Point" wasn't a comedy before the movie began. We wish we had waited until the end to make that revelation.

FHC, we missed you.