FHC is just a jealous guy

I have always been an envious bastard! I am truly conscious that it is not good but I am just your average gay envious bastard. It is not only a repulsive personality trait; it also happens to me a major SIN… envy …YES. Actually I believe it happens to be one of the seven deadly ones or isn’t it? I learnt them with Brad Pitt in Seven like everybody else. I remember now: ‘Because I envy your normal life, it seems envy is my sin.’ ‘What’s in the box?’‘…I just told you”…funny Kevin S. and I would share a common sin as we already share the same hairline. LL, on the other hand, is definitely a Glutton (and a drunkard…and a friend of tax collectors ….but that does not count) so we are both f**ed and will be broken on the wheel first thing when we get to Fantasy Island FOR ALL ETERNITY after our death (I only believe in Fantasy Island…my belief bars any depiction of Tattoo – peace be upon him). That is so like us, we could not limit ourselves to minor sins (like infidelity, not being circumcised, breaking the toilets and walking away or stealing underwear from people – Kevin D. adopted this one) …no…we had to go all the way and get deadly capital ones.

I envy everything I can: dogs, nano ipods, smokers, random people’s waist, Hayden Christiansen, babies, houses, cars, abdominals, driving abilities, youth, stock portfolio, positivism, clothes, concert tickets, being a student, genes pool, casual sex, promotion, jeans…you name it. I constantly repeat to myself "Thou shalt not covet" but nothing …. I am still you good old envious bastard. I don’t envy Clay Haiken though. I mostly envy material objects because I am a materialistic f*ck too. Isn’t that horrible? Envy is basically defined as sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself. Worse, I enjoy inspiring envy to my fellow disadvantaged brothers…I am hyper envious. That’s it I am Smeagle, the mean Gollum! FHC is a half-naked hobbit (slightly taller than your average hobbit but not much) who creeps in the East Coast darkness and preys on your things. Just this week, my friend Mark D. was wearing a really nice beige coat that he only paid $100 (Benetton sale apparently) he told me and before you know it, I was like “it would fit me really well, if you die in a car accident I’ll claim it to [his boyfriend]”. He looked at me as if to say..."do you really want it that much?” and then he started to cry and only when I held him close, did he stop. It was really embarrassing for everybody involved! I ran into Rodolphe B. and his nano Ipod yesterday at Results, I think he suffers from Lust. I envy that… I wished that was my capital sin…

Comments

[LL]

You covet casual sex?

BREAKUP!

[hayden (yeah, right)]

it's christensen