The Gods Must Be Crazy and Other Excuses FHC’s Gives for His Thinning Hair

This weekend marks FHC’s turbulent return to the Closet of Chelsea.  He’s gone over two months without setting foot here, and yet somehow I’m blamed for forcing him to spend all his money on travel to NYC.  Raise your hand if you think it sounds fishy.

            Not to worry, FHC kept all his old habits.  Last night he refused to leave the apartment for any reason, and even forced Fagat to come chez nous for a drink instead of meeting him at bar.  Today, FHC agreed to take his obligatory walk in the park and also helped me pick out a cheap, tacky, interview suit.  As we walked uptown, FHC turned to me and said, “I think my relationship with New York City has really evolved.”  Ignoring the fact that evolution is a lie, I asked “How so?”  Obviously I should have predicted his answer: “Actually, I just thought that it sounded like a good thing to say.”  Our netflixes this weekend are The Gods Must Be Crazy and March of the Penguins.  So far we’ve only watched the first.  I really liked the clicking and FHC really liked the nearly naked African American Bushmen.  We watched the DVD special feature about the making of the movie and the famous Hollywood actor – N!xau – that played the lead.  Apparently after the movie was filmed he traveled the world, had his picture taken in front of the Eiffel Tower, and then returned to his village a minor celebrity.  Instead of his Bushmaniac garb, N!xau started wearing a “Vive La France” t-shirt so that everyone in the Kalahari would know what a f****ing jet-setter he was.  Kind of like when my relatives visit Orlando.

Finally, can we discuss the church fires in Alabama?  First of all, they police say they don’t consider these hate crimes because only one of the churches was predominantly black.  Apparently it’s impossible to hate Baptists or, for that matter, whites.  And of course, since the arson took place in the rural south, the papers think real motive likely was crystal meth, which incidentally also was the cause of the ferry accident on the red sea and the Chernobyl disaster and, most frightening of all, SuperAIDS. 

            Also, does anyone want to invite me to their Super Bowl Party this weekend? 

Comments

[Chira[c]]

Worse than all of that is the fact that Crystal Meth caused the hit show "Full House" to come to an end.