The long overdue FHC MW interview

What’s on your nightstand?

A picture of a young LL in some Eastern European train. A box filled with pills bottles I gathered throughout the years – including some sleeping pills in case I get insomnia. A courtesy Alarm Clock I stole from the mail of my Mexican ex, my moleskine notebook and a pile of magazines - mostly VF, le Nouvel Observateur, l’Intelligent and Uomo Vogue.

What’s in your DVD player?

“Inside Deep Throat” the documentary on the porn movie “Deep Throat” cultural shock for America. The player was LL’s Christmas gift: it has an easy subtitle button as I watch all my movies with subtitles.

What are your television favorites?

We don’t have cable anymore but since yesterday I am into into Peew-Wee’s playhouse. Seinfield makes me laugh.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters?

It was Transamerica. I liked it, it was subtle…my only issue is that I don’t believe in redemption. People like her son rarely change in real life.

Which superhero would you be?

Tintin because I love to wear golf pants and I would not mind living in the 30’s if I was asked to.

What’s your greatest influence?

Fear.

What’s your greatest fear?

That I’ll continue to let my decisions being influenced by fear which is highly probable.

Who gets on your nerve?

Everybody besides LL, my roommate – particularly before 9 a.m. - and my mother.

Pick three people, living or dead who you think would make the most fascinating dinner guests imaginable?

I don’t enjoy being fascinated at dinner. It’s bad for your digestion. I prefer it to be a bit more casual so I’d like to invite LL, Brett Easton-Ellis and maybe Toby H. if he promises to behave.

What would you serve?

I’d ask my dear friend Alex A., who is a major cook and knows how to throw a stylished dinner party, to bail me out. He’d decline at first. I’d threaten to blackmail him and he’d cook us a great diner.

Boxers, briefs or other ?

I have always loved miniature underwear …mostly briefs. I particularly have something for the one called RIPS with the little strings on it. Now that I am getting close to my thirties I find them a bit uncomfortable though.

Favorite retail store?

Ralph Lauren. I love the atmosphere and the leather chairs. Of course I never buy anything because I am dirt poor.

Describe your dream guy?

Some extremely wealthy and idle LL living in my apartment.

Define good in bed?

Nice and uninhibited.

What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

At Nation. Well it wasn’t really sex. What do you call sex exactly?

Favorite musical artist.

I’d say Gainsbourg but I mostly like songs not artists.

What’s your favorite website?

E-bay. There is something amazing about being able to find anything you’d like in the world and then have it shipped to your doorstep.

Who should star in a movie about your life?

I’d really like if it could be the guy that played in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. If not, Danny Devito I guess. Kevin D. thinks it should be the short guy in the Lost Cast…Dominic Maughan.

First celebrity crush?

Does it sound really weird if I say Danny Pintauro? I mean I was twelve too.

Biggest turn on?

A great sense of humor and some class.

Biggest turn off?

Superficiality and people that are obsessed with their appearance.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t tried yet?

Driving on the highway. I am really working at it though. I would give me the freedom to get in fight with people and then leave in MY car.

What position do you play in the big baseball game of life?

On the bench most of the time.

What’s your favorite food to splurge with?

Beef jerky and these weird crab meat imitation sticks. I can eat packs of both until I get sick.

What kind of animal would you be?

I see myself as some kind of a monkey…preferable one that’d smell good. A little shouting monkey.

What kind of a plant would you be?

I don’t know …man… I am not into vegetable which reminds me of this very funny quote “I am not a vegan because I love animals, I am a vegan because I hate plants”.

What are you most grateful for?

Being out and somewhat free. Also my quality of life. I never thought it would turn out that great. I was under the impression that I would die gay bashed and dirt poor at 24.

What’s your dream job?

I am not really into working but thanks for asking. Maybe I’d have liked to be a reporter or an archeologist or a Professor. A job in which you can wear a tweed jacket an smoke a pipe basically.

State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.

Let’s try to do a little better next year.

Comments

[LL]

FHC would clearly be the kind of monkey that wipes its own ass and then throws feces at the other monkeys as a "joke."

interesting punctuation -- are you saying that your mom and your roommate don't get on your nerves? because that's how it's written!

[kevin d.]

um, whomever wrote that last comment is clearly a useess pain in the ass. if we're gonna start talkg about errors in punctuation and grammar and spelling on fhc.blogs.com, i'm going to bed.

[kevin d.]

that should read useless and talking. we can blame my typos on my degenerative nerve disease. tristan is just plain illiterate.

[fan]

MW interviews come with naked pics...

[KMZ]

I loved this post! I vote for LL to fill in the survey tomorrow.

[Alex A]

Good one!

Kevin D should be spanked for suggesting Dominic to cast for your role in the movie...

I volunteer to administer the fessees...

[Jim M]

I suppose it would be too obvious to point out the irony in your answer about turn offs.

[MegaDCFag]

I loved your entry. I would actually use the following image if you were to appear in MW:

http://www.bartcop.com/french-monkey.jpg

Have a good weekend!