Today is Monday. And by Monday I mean NOT my day of the week to blog. But since no one wants to see FHC's end up like this, I've decided to post every now and again while the real FHC becomes even more orange than in the photo on the upper left corner of your screen.
During Crim today my friends and I were emailing about ways to tell if someone is straight or gay by what they're wearing. And we're not talking about just having good taste or dressing well - if NYC and Europeans prove anything, it's that having fashionable sensibilities and being delicate do not a queer make. Here were some of the suggestions. Please discuss and add any of your own in the comments section:
1) Gays don't wear white undershirts. This doesn't mean that we all like revealing our chests beneath our button-downs - but when we do wear undershirts, they're charcoal, or even black, but never white.
2) Gays don't wear white socks. Even with gym shoes. Unless they're jogging, working out or in gay porn.
3) Gays are very attentive to the way their jeans hit their trendy sneakers. You'll never see a gay with his cuff tucked into the heel of his shoe, and you'll never see unnecessary clumping. Gay men make sure their jeans break *just right* over their shoes, and they're constantly readjusting throughout the day to get the desired effect.
4) Gays LOVE to wear long-sleeve shirts underneath their polos. Sometimes they color-coordinate, but they don't have to.
In bloggorhea, apparently the new Real World cast has two homosexuals, one have whom got a job as a bar back at JRs (no, not that JRs).
Editor's Note: While we don't like to draw attention to the aging process, Pedro and Maria have asked that we all extend a happy birthday to a very special person, who may or may not be accelerating the wrinkling process on what may or may not be the mediterranean sea.
A gay just passed me in the libes and he was wearing a headband. And a shirt with like sports numbers on it...like "00" on the back, not affiliated with any real team that I know of. I feel that straight men do neither of the above.
Posted by: Chira[c] | Monday, April 17, 2006 at 07:00 PM
in which we mourn the passing of the 26th year of fhc...
Posted by: kevin d. | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
do straight guys wear abercrombie anymore? i mean, honestly, what could be gayer???
also, i think only homos and girls wear fur.
Posted by: kevin d. | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 12:03 AM
they're the only ones who are wearing those awful pimp-dress-shoes with the elongated toes. the foot-to-penis ratio is a myth, maybe someone should tell them.
Posted by: abstract truth | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 06:47 AM
FHC, you are old.
Posted by: Fagat | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 06:10 PM
hmm, i still wear white socks, but then i think that's a southern thing which as i find myself doing less and less now that i've moved up here to yankee-land.
in other news: happy bday, fhc, and please come home soon! oliver and kevin miss you so much they have both fallen into a deep despression, one in which they are prone to throwing hissy fits and such for no good reason except the fact you are gone!!!
Posted by: mark h. | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 06:37 PM
white socks, mark h.?
hmm...
you would.
Posted by: kevin d. | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 07:07 PM
hsss...
Posted by: mark h. | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 07:36 PM
I hope you make him take them off, because otherwise that's just awkward for everybody involved.
Posted by: LL | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 08:48 PM
Old and fat
Posted by: MegaDCFag | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 11:17 PM