In which FHC evokes the DC gay apparatchiks

About ten years older than the MNDC’s members, the DC gay apparatchiks (DCGA) owe their comfortable lives to a much more strict management of their libido, an amazing drive for success as well as their capacity to collaborate with the straight world in an opportunistic manner. They are the first generation of confident and optimistic openly gay successful men in the US who have managed to subtly exploit the gay networks and manipulate the favorable straight elite burgeoning feeling of guilt over the historical oppression of the gay population to climb the social ladder, expand their economic ties with the straight world while creating an apologetic way of life that is not offensive to the American families. Strictly monogamous since their college years when they settled for another bright and ambitious chap their age, they never talk about the way they manage their “open relationships” and mimic as much as possible the straight couple way of life. Later in life, they did not adopt a kid to preserve the sensitivity of their straight friends and colleagues, keep their gay poster boys status and avoid falling in the trap of the gay cliché. This tactic often paid off immensely and fulfilled their strong appetite for luxury, power and above-all social recognition. They take pride in not having been in a gay bar since September 11^th, 2001, purchased a town house anywhere in DC but Dupont Circle and avoid like the plague all gay gatherings. They only attend discreet black tie events for gay foundations to which they contribute heavily in order to control the community political activity, manage the so-called “gay revolution” as well as appease their conscience. Physicians, lobbyists, lawyers, business owners, high level republicans, they are strictly invisible to the rest of the gay population (even if their business often caters to the vulgarus homosexualus) and somewhat look down on the community hedonistic and promiscuous approach to life as well as its complete lack of ambition. They particularly despise porn, the gay pride, sleeveless T-shirts, friendster, metroweekly, T-shirts, drag queens, rim jobs, strip clubs, single gays, Nation, sneakers outside of the gym, loud voices, biceps, techno and the drugs. Often coming from a very middle class background, they became extremely snobbish on their way up and refined their amazing taste to perfection: only travel business class, have front row tickets at the Kennedy Center (they have a passion for everything classical and dismiss anything modern – in modern societies a seat at the Opera is synonym of society’s acceptance), are always aware of the current exhibitions in Europe, know at least two tailors in Milano and the manager of the Beverly Hills J.M. Weston shop, spend amazing amounts of money on meals (and are  indirectly at the origin of the high restaurant turnover in DC), sneer at all type of “gay novels” and have taken classes to learn how to make impressice comments on wines. They always make sure that their dinner party’s guests include at least 50% of straight acquaintances and that the conversation never ever touches to the taboo topic of sexuality as for them socializing is always about business. However their heart resides with the legendary gay mafia and they organize more intimate dinners with other gay apparatchiks couples. Extremely slim and healthy, they avoid the gay fatteness by never drinking cocktails and stating very clearly to their Sports Club L.A. personal trainers that they want to keep their muscle mass to its minimum (we all know that deep down gay muscles are intended to scare straight people while the DCGA want to re-assure them). They dress extremely conservatively and avoid wearing jeans more than once a week. Financially successful and extremely well connected, they live the highlife and have numerous apartments and dachas in France, Italy, West Virginia and exotic destinations in South America. Short of a dynasty, the DC gay apparatchiks seek financial success often not to ensure the future of their tribe or their own comfort but to take a complex personal revenge on society and escape their teenage year’s residual self-hatred. Yet they indirectly contribute to mainstreaming homosexuality in the American society.

Comments

[LL]

You know, FHC, this blog does get several hits a day from NPR.

[kevin d.]

i would like to know who wrote this entry. did mommy and daddy help you?

[Alex A]

Finally something worth reading, after weeks of useless prose on selfindulgence.

Good job!

[Tristan himself...yes...yes]

If that's ok, I am going to ignore your comment Alex.
http://fhc.blogs.com/iheartfhc/2006/04/in_which_fhc_ca.html

[Anonymous]

Is Alex A. an apparatchiks?

[kevin d.]

incorrect, sinore! i thought this was the most boring blog i've seen in weeks (especially since no names were mentioned--especially mine). if i want to read thoughtful writing i'll buy a REAL BOOK. this blog is the perfect venue for useless prose on selfindulgent topics. that's what a personal blog is. and who, i beg of you, could be better at useless self indulgent bullshit prose than our fhc???
about a million other blog authors, i guess...

[Frederico C]

That is what my former english teacher would define as "a very interesting piece of writing". Well done FHC, a change in contents is always good, even if it happens only once!

[mark. h]

i think your post would have been more interesting had you provided details about that curly-haired twink you were sodomizing yesterday afternoon when kevin and i got home from church. oh well.