In which FHC shares his tactic to look smart in front of celebrities

Running into a mainstream celebrity or some prominent political figure is a really embarrassing situation for me (for once I am not talking about a local gay celebrity like Rodolphe B. or the TTs to which you can always charm with such lines as “nice tan” or “are those real muscles or steroid ones?”), moreover because deep down I am a starfuck*er and my English is only fairly accurate. I think I discussed this with Fagat recently who was mentioning how bright and insightful his own conversation was - after all it’s somehow his job to be charming with celebrities to betray them a little later if I understand well - and how he impressed one of my favorite writers at a recent dinner (by discussing killing service people or something morbid like that I believe). For me every attempt to go over and start an original conversation with a public figure always ends up in a terrible and shameful fiasco. I remember once traveling for 8 hours straight with Bernard Henry-Lèvy (a French intellectual - if there issuch athing - for the neophytes) and another time next to Mrs. Levitte (both time we were wearing pajamas which made it even more uncomfortable) and both time was quite uncomfortable to the point that I could not concentrate on anything or even sleep the entire trip. I felt really compelled to act in a strange manner to ignite their interest and imply that I was Jewish but I think I just come out as an annoying retard. As Wendy Rieger said "It's like having your parents in the room with you" – I always pretend I am jewish with my parents. I talked a little to Mrs. Levitte but just starred aggressively to BHL the entire time. I really wanted him to love me so badly and he… really did not want to be disturbed; I thought my aggressive look could lead us to chat for a few hours so he would mention me in his next book (which eventually happened to be some piece of trash about Tocqueville and the US…whatever). I should have told him “so I noticed your wife had her ribs removed, how does that work out for you?”. Starring aggressively, running away and acting as if I hadn’t noticed someone’s presence constitute my defensive techniques when I am uncomfortable… it is something I do for crushes too…I stare at my crush aggressively …if I look at you with a mean look and then ran away I probably have a crush on you. People say I have a bad attitude but I actually just have a lot of crushes. That’s something quite awful about DC, is that you sometimes find yourself face-to-face with some master of the universe and very often with the Dalaï-Lama (talking of awkward starfuc*ers) and would really need to have something witty to say so you could end up with a cool celebrity story …

Comments

[LL]

It's almost like finding your good friend's name in the crossword puzzle.

Besides, isn't FHC a minor celebrity (at least by DC standards)?

[Fagat]

Excuse us. We said nothing about killing service people. BEE merely pointed out that he did not like our waitress, and added: "I wanted to kill her. I wanted to become a murderer and kill her." Which was totally natural, we thought, considering the source.