In which FHC is just a boring museum rat

The one which says that you must walk a lot to discover a city definitely did not have the pair of shoes I was wearing today. It is 7 p.m. and my feet are killing me literally while the shoes are plain dead, agonizing on the floor. I followed dearest Cub’s advice – nothing like American Euro Trash to guide you in the UK – and visited Sir John Soane’s Museum and the Wallace collection. I unfortunately added the British Museum in the middle and Tate Modern at the end and as a result feel quite exhausted. At the Wallace collection, the painting of Edward V and the Duke of York at the Tower by Paul Delaroche turned me on and I decided that all I want for Christmas this year is a Horace Vernet. At Soane’s, I thought that one can only love a country where people have “breakfast parlours”. I did not notice anything at the Tate’s museum but the gorgeous boys and Eberhard Havekost’s Ghost seating next to something by Marlene Dumas. These days museums are almost as hot as your average porn blog. Loved the museum’s architecture though and the Millenium bridge – there is a rumor that even LL enjoyed during his past visit.

I hated Oxford Street but was amazed by the fact that everybody at Cipriani of London had a female driver. I liked a lot British expressions such as “please mind the steps” and saw advertising for a book titled “we need not to talk about Kevin” with which I completely agreed. I read in the paper that 2% of the entire British population snorts Coke based on a UN report. I also called my mother to tell her that I wished we had been colonized by the Brits instead of the Belgians and enquire why I had been kept unaware of the British civilization during my entire youth.

I won’t follow Carlos’advice to visit Heaven both because I am way too old to sweet talk any bartender and because I am on my way to watch the game France-Spain in some pub before having dinner with some old alumni from school.

Comments

[LL]

But which Kevin are we talking about? If I didn't talk to Kevin D., the only thing left for me to have a conversation with would be Oliver. Talk about embarrassing for everybody.

[kevin d.]

well the only other kevin i can think of is kevin federline as he seems to have taken over the covers of US weekly and EW lately. kevin f. has shown me new heights in the genres of worthless indolence and unbridled moochery. thank you, kevin f. thank you.

on a completely unrelated note, fhc, i hate to warn you, but the cleaning ladies failed to make one of their bi-monthly appearances today. the upstairs toilet is completely covered with your legally blind and wildly inaccurate bf's urine. i suggest we hang a pair of binoculars next to the toilet so he can see by exactly how many inches he misses the bowl every morning.

[LL]

I'll think about aiming better once Oliver starts scooping his own litter.

[Kevin M.]

According to Publishers Weekly, We Need to Talk About Kevin is "A controversial novel that has sparked ample word of mouth attention, here is the chilling story of a mother struggling to understand where her son Kevin went off the tracks, before massacring seven fellow high school students." Y'all better watch out. Given how damn many Kevins there are around, there could be a lot of mayhem...