A few days ago, FHC joked that Carlos was having a party/potential bloodbath tonight. Hahaha hilarious FHC. If only there hadn’t been 14 murders in the last 13 days – and three in peaceful Northwest, your joke might have been what we Americans call “funny.” Seriously, though, maybe the newly 
reopened National Portrait Gallery should have thought twice about putting on display that painting of Vigo the Carpathian. Here are some examples of increasing tendency of DC residents towards craziness and violence:
- Walking home from work, I watched a homeless man approach a toddler holding a McDonald’s bag and demand “Give me that food.”
- Two days ago I was waiting for FHC to come back from work when I heard a crazy person scream from across the street. “You Faggot get back here before going into your gated community you Faggot.”
- FHC told me this afternoon, “I’m going to smash your head into the wall until it bleeds.” That part was standard, but then he poured hot coffee into my lap.
- The Titanic tried to dock at our marina last weekend AND I peeked into a sewer recently and there’s a river of pink slime running beneath the city.
It’s become so bad that we no longer walk anywhere, and recently 90% of our good friends have been held up at gunpoint or mugged. Lucky, our jeans are so tight we can’t carry wallets. Gentrification, obviously, is a large part of the problem. Gays can move to a dying part of town, invest capital, and place flower pots on every corner, but you think we’d also be able teach the displaced inhabitants some manners.
In the spirit of Fagat, who apparently is attracting new visits to his site only by posting almost nude men, we’d like to direct you to this video of a “Tetu Casting Call.”
Now we’re off to Prom. Here's hoping no one spills pig's blood on that bitch, Carrie.
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