FHC walks/runs for nothing

What’s up with people asking me to sponsor them to run marathon and even to go on freaking walks? The physical activity related charity racket feels a tlittle overwhelming these days: AIDS walk, Lupus Run, Genital Warts mountain climbing, Run for the Cure, Throat Cancer cross-country, Samba for Juvenile Diabetes, Leukemia all night dance, Skipping for Hunger, Sclerosis promenade, Yoga against Arthritis, Jumping for Cheetah Conservation, Relay for Life etc… Soon I’ll have to give cash to charity every time my neighbor decides to cross the street to Safeway, wash the dishes or go to Results for a work-out. You know what? Forget about the f***ing walk/run, I’ll donate the money but it’s really not necessary for you to step outside: I AM NOT PAYING FOR YOU TO WORK-OUT. I am not pledging for you to lose weight, feel fitter or escape the dullness of your existence. Perhaps if you stop moving from your apartment and sending stupid e-mails for an entire month, I’ll give something to fight the AIDS epidemic or whatever cause you selected. It will be the “shut-up and disappear from my life for a month” marathon for the cure. I don’t understand what the rationale is: there is a link missing between your mediocre physical effort and my donation against Polio (you sweat, I pay?, you suffer, I donate?....I don’t get it). Your philanthropy gives me diarrhea. How sad it is that even charity has to be linked to fitness these days: generosity has to be fat free. At least before, we could give money while watching Jerry Lewis on TV and binging on potato chips and Oreos. What’s wrong with good old fundraisings? at least you’d cook for me. I take my bicycle to work every day and it never occurred to me that this was sufficient to constrain my friends into giving some cash to a charitable organization: Please sponsor me by sending a donation to the Boys Scout of Americas as I bicycle for the 4,000th time to work on Friday, July 21st in Downtown DC: “FHC’s ride for life, happiness and equality”. My goal is to raise $2,000. While we are at it, here is an interesting insight on the fate of charity donations. Here is to another cheerful entry...you really need to start reading something else and I really need to look for the Wellbutrin leftovers.

In other, less bitter, news Kevin D. returned from Italy with brand new underwear and Carlos U. (20 minutes late for our appointment, it looks like DC fags have decided to throw me over the edge) referred to Rodolphe B. at lunchtime describing him as “just like FHC but good-looking”.

Comments

[LL]

I need a gym membership. Please sponsor me at $70 a month and I will waive the activation fee. Thx,

L.L.

[Dop Troutman]

Hey F ~ thanks for the shout out!

[fan]

you are better looking

[kevin d.]

dear fan,
your opinion on fhc's level of comparative attractivenes to other equally insufferable french homosexuals is duly noted. however, i cannot help but to point out to you that fhc's laissez faire approach to personal hygiene does not convey so pungently over the medium of the blog as it does in person. in this facet, fhc is not unlike the titan arum, or the "corpse flower," which can grow to be 10 feet tall and is known for its strong putrid odor which has been compared with the smell of rotting flesh and can be detected from half a mile away. while fhc will never reach the towering height of ten feet, much less surpass the modest stature of a moderately built hobbit, he is nonetheless what many dully sensed people with limited standards call "attractive," not unlike the exotic flowers of the titan arus, not to mention that the aromas of both fhc and the titan arus are equally appealing to the creatures who thrive on rotting flesh: vultures, horseflies, and twinks.

[Kevin W]

It's so obvious that fan is actually FHC

[Russ W]

... and is Kevin D. referring to L.L. as "vultures, horseflies and twinks"... which is it?

[fan]

I HATE YOU !