In which FHC flushes his dermatologist down the drain

I perspired through the entire consultation with my dermatologist this morning. I think that unconsciously I was trying to drown him in my sweat. And I might have if he hadn’t been in such a hurry. Doctors are rushing you so much in the United States that it spoils all the pleasure of being sick.

Part of my anxiety was due to the fact that I could not figure out why I had scheduled this appointment in the first place. We covered very briefly the topic of my hair loss (cf. you are balding and I hate you) and my decision to stop the ultimate dilemma medicine. I was hoping that the doctor would say something such as “which hair loss?” or “have you heard about that magical product which restores your hair and makes your teeth whiter?” but instead he mumbled something about “libido vs. hair …tough choice”. After that, I felt a little panicked as I had ran out of things to say and he did not seem to be in the mood to look for little cancerous elements around my body.

I finally remembered about that miniature moldy thing on my neck. At that point (probably 3 minutes into the consultation), I was drenched and a little pond of sweat had formed at the bottom of my feet and it only got worse when he told me: “I can take that off now if you want”. I did not have time to decline his invitation or beeg for an epidural. It just became dramatic and gore: he stuck this huge needle in my neck, butchered my neck right and left and then showed me a little plastic container telling me “I’ll call you after the biopsy”.

I asked him “which biopsy? You never talked of a biopsy?”, but he probably did not hear me through the waterfall falling on my face (now a mix of sweat, tears and blood) and he rushed me out reminding me “to call in a week for the results”.

Great: the whole appointment did not last more than 7 minutes but now I have an entire week to worry about skin cancer, it will teach me to go to the doctor without popping the usual beta blocker.

Comments

[LL]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you Loulou. It sounds like you suffered so much, FHC.

[Alex A]

Avoid going to MD. You will incurr real risk of becoming sick. They are rent seekers and will always find a good reason for you to come back and become dependent. It will take you years at docs anonymous to get rid of it.