In which FHC is better at sailing than driving

L and I apparently passed our sailing exam. They even gave us a very condescending paper certificate stating that we had completed the “adult basic sailing training”. The instructor unfairly screamed at me because I could not grasp the principles of “docking” and once again I felt worthless. I used Frenchbenj’s line and told him that anyway river sailing was for losers and that by the way the French, besides winning against Brazil, invented sailing which contributed to alleviate the tension in the boat. Additionally LL blew our perfect cover by squealing like a kosher pig because a miniature spider was on the raft. But overall it was hella fun and I already forgave the instructor and abandoned my initial plan to return at dawn and write “docking” with an electric carving knife on his forehead for kicks...

I just find extremely painful to learn anything new. As a matter of fact, I haven’t learnt anything in the last five years besides perhaps driving. Actually let me rethink that silly statement, I did not even learn how to drive correctly: it took me two hours to drive us back from Alexandria yesterday night after we watched “the devil wears Prada” (such a charming movie). We got lost in Anacostia in our ridiculous mini convertible and I couldn’t help but think of “The Bonfire of the Vanities".

Adult classes are so undignified. So often it is just an alternative to a real social life for the rejects of humanity and a way for retired militaries and teachers to continue being demeaning towards their inferior/less knowledgeable counterparts. Have you seen what kind of losers are in the beginner Mandarin at the YMCA? half of them have crutches. I have decided to thank LL by signing up for a knife fencing initiation in Southeast DC next week.

In other news my life is pretty miserable: I just drooled on my computer, the washing machine is not working anymore, Mike G. and Kenneth are best friends and my picture of the Kennedys arrived here broken. Thank god Fagat is coming in (LL is much more excited than he was for my return from the unnamed destination) and we are going to Sam K’s late afternoon birthday bash.

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[LL]

It's not drool. Just ask Kevin D.