FHC’s resurrected blog : In which FHC says ciao to the Talented M. D.

I now have the proof that my ô so fancy roommate Kevin D. cowardly fled to Italy yesterday morning leaving us with an intellectually and somewhat physically challenged not-so-well-behaved cat, some cheap dull cotton clothes, his jockstrap and a handful of exes at different levels of neurosis in yet another desperate attempt to evade parenthood, responsibilities and his middle-class existence. “It came to him merely to run away was folly, because he could never run away from himself.” Babbitt (Sinclair Lewis). I am afraid that Kevin D., who only left his native Texas for what he thought would be an amazing career opportunity in DC and eventually ended up being the fiasco I just described, has a very naïve vision of Italy which most Texans share. He imagines Italy through the romantic lens of “The Talented Mr. Ripley”, “La Dolce Vita” and “il mostro”: a cinematographic travesty (a bit like the way many MNDC members confuses Kevin W. for Great Britain, promiscuity for genius and Alex W. video for a human being). Kevin D. left for an Italy which actually disappeared shortly after Pompeii went in flames, the Italy in which the dollar had still some value, Americans were blond, thin and witty, Popes were openly gay and Italians still remembered the American kind attitude after WWII. I am afraid he is up for a huge disappointment. Imagine being a relatively poor, unsophisticated, slightly-overweight, alcoholic, episcopalian American in his thirties whose motto is “Because I am so very gay, and the gays have no raison d’être” hustling your way in what I like to call "France's Filthy and Licentious Ugly Step-sister!” strolling through the famous landmarks in trashy Rome, Naples and Milan looking one last time for the ruins of your youth, the wrecks of your dreams and a taste of raunchy European adventures....? In my opinion after they reach 19 years old, American should avoid to travel as much as they can because they have very little left to offer to the World. I’ll say no more because I hate to criticize. We just hope he won’t have an unpleasant experience similar to the one which traumatized Ben T. during his stay in Bologna. I am told that Ben was abducted by some pirates and traded as a sex slave along with some Albanian chicks for months which explain his early return that we all benefited from. Kevin: if you read this: WE LOVE YOU [did you ever think that maybe your boundaries are actually inside?]– don’t drink the water, head-butt them if they are annoying, be careful and hurry home. Fagat just sent you a new double porn DVD.

Sorry for the delayed posting which is entirely due to typepad incompetence [ I am really annoyed typepad people…really]. In other news we took a peculiar interest in the White House salaries and Sucking up to zipcar is the new demagogy. Also the cleaning lady did not show-up yesterday which I interpreted as a good sign, yet she has not returned the keys.