In which FHC calls himself a fat lazy bastard once again

One of the reason I have extreme difficulties blogging lately, besides a persistent lack of talent, is that I just do not spend enough time awake. My bulimic sleep habit is disruptive to my entries because it does not leave enough time to have stuff happen to me like getting laid, getting involved in a tragic car accident or being lucid about my personal circumstances and LL’s insolence. It does not even let me enough time to have racist or self-hating thoughts. Take today, I woke up at 12 just in time to grab lunch at Lauriol Plaza with the charming Frederico C. who was kindly visiting from Lisbon and went back to bed at 2 p.m. I plan to return to bed immediately after I am done not blogging. [maybe not immediately…a gorgeous guy just stepped in Java House...let’s suck in my cheeks…it usually works really well…oh…ok ….his girlfriend joined him.. fine fine…. I get the message].

Frederico C. is a charming friend of mine who managed to escape the United States last year. He lost so much weight that I wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the fact that he was the slimmest thing I had seen on the block since skinny bitch self-consummated. In the meantime I haven’t stopped expanding since I checked in Ellis Island six years ago. I weighted 148.5 pounds at Results a few days ago which is only 1,5 pounds less than my taxi driver (who is straight, 40 and married) but 10 pounds less than Adam P. (who is gay, 40 and chronically dumped). I wouldn’t be mad about it if I hadn’t discovered that Frenchbenj managed to stay all slim and stuff while he must have been in this glorious nation of ours for at least three decades. Ok maybe I’ll go for a run now. So long kiddos anyway there is no internet connection at Java House and that sucks.

Oh and think about it: what are you doing to support our warriors ?

Comments

[LL]

Note to readers: FHC's complaint about "no internet at java house" is a veiled attempt to critize me for failing to set up internet during my summer internship with Kevin D.

[Frederico C]

I cannot lose something I never had!!!