In which FHC does not go to rehab

I am very rarely publicly scorned for my failed relationship (how do you say Fagat in Spanish? maracata?), however I am shamed for my e-bay addiction almost everyday. Most of my friends assimilate purchasing items on e-bay to dumpster diving and seem to be greatly disturbed by the fact that I use most of my available income and occasionally my savings to collect stuff on e-bay (trophies, vintage Babar books, Waldorf Astoria silverware, the Tatler, Pamela Harriman memorabilia etc….). Maybe it adds up to the fact that I speak to myself aloud and sometimes wake up in a poodle of vomit but let’s stick to our current topic. I am fed up to constantly being asked “where does that come from? E-bay too?”…it’s just awkward and embarrassing. Someone even threatened me with an intervention and hinted that I needed medical help. F**k me ? well f**k YOU.

- First, I’d like to claim my right to not fit in your protestant petit bourgeois saving plan scheme: having to make a living for oneself is sufficiently uncomfortable that one should not have to continuously justify his spending habit to strangers. Whoever advises me to live more frugally is a sell-out and when I will be through with my savings, I’ll borrow.

- Secondly, what’s wrong with recycling items discarded by other people? your obsession with purchasing new stuff is childish as well as a terrible threat to my environment. Have you even heard of Freegans ?

- Thirdly, let me fill my emotional gap as I wish. I cannot really argue that my e-bay shopping sprees are less expensive than therapy and meds… but you get the point. You are a gym bunny and an asshole…well I am a hoarder. You also are a materialistic f*ck, so don’t judge me. As Stevenson put it “It is perhaps a more fortunate destiny to have a taste for collecting shells than to be born a millionaire.”

- Fourthly, I was often told that I should find something I am good at and enjoy and that I should pursue it: well here it is. You can ask LL, being a successful bidder takes a lot of technical knowledge and tactic;

- Finally, I never ask you where your ugly clothes and sorry objects come from, so give me a break. In doubt just assume that…yes… I bought it on e-bay;

In other news, I find that one should surf Wikipedia at least one hour a day and Fishwatch (who does not have an excuse for not blogging anymore) kindly informed us that we were about to be serial-killed this week-end.

Comments

[LL]

It's true - I never bid on eBay without first consulting FHC about timing and price. Obvi it's going to be hard to kick my dependence.

[kevin d.]

dear ll.
you know i love you, especially since you moved back to nyc and no longer urinate all over my bathroom. (it has not once smellt of urea since you left.)
however, if i am to consider you a friend, as i do, i also must treat you as a friend. and when my friends are clearly walking down a path of despair and generally bad ilk, i inform them of their misguided ways. "obvi" is never acceptable, unless you are a priveleged surfer brat from venice beach. please for the love of all that is good, never, ever, ESPECIALLY in print/type use that word in a serious fashion, less you would like to be forever ridiculed and looked down upon for the rest of your life by anyone with half an iota of a brain
all my love,
kevin bin laden.