In which FHC does not move to NYC anymore

I was very briefly considering moving to Manhattan yesterday night along with ending my existence (I had just watched the long version of big blue in which two people end up drowning themselves basically). But then I just realized that this was a ridiculous idea because I would be miserable: I hate New York. People still have social lives and go to cocktail receptions and charity parties in New York. They even have a social diary like the Bottin Mondain but vulgar and they patrickmcmullan themselves constantly. They are genuinely afraid to be boring and talk about literature, fashion and arts. All things I have been fortunate enough to be sheltered from during the last six years in DC. Men even wear uncomfortable clothes. They might be a little short on the degree side compared to DC but they dress well. Consequently being gay isn’t even edgy in NYC (please note how Luigi Tagini is yummy btw… I still have to open my September Vanity Fair which is a clear sign that I am not well), you have to be at least bisexual if not more. They do the week-end thing in the Hamptons and then in Saratoga and vacation in Palm Beach but very rarely cook barbecues and absolutely never go camping in the woods. They sip mid-afternoon tea at the Yale club and they smoke and drink and pride themselves into being unhealthy and unfit. They often have very big heads on tiny bodies. I prefer to stay in DC and buy myself a hamster cage and take a carcass disposal class at GW.

Comments

[LL]

I agree. I feel much better looking in DC than in NYC.

[New Fagat]

Maybe if you didn't spend all your time here sh*tfaced and licking people's faces you would like it a little more.

[Old Fagat]

Our ex-boyfriend's horrid new boyfriend is in that article. However, Luigi Tadini (not horrid) is very charming and we can introduce the two of you if you like.

[LL]

No, Old (wrinkled and grisly) Fagat, you can't.

Funny stuff.

But I'm gonna have to call BS on your suggestion that Washingtonians are boring and uncultured in comparison to New Yorkers, and that somehow you are excepted from this general rule. Somehow I can't quite picture you out at Apex -- shitfaced and full of guile -- cottoning up to some fashionista trying to deconstruct Ullyses whilst Beyonce blares in the background.

Not, of course, unless the boy in question happens to look like that Luigi character....

[Mark H.]

oops. that last comment comes from your truly. ;)

[Old Fagat]

Now "Old Fagat" automatically pops up in my autofill forms on blogger. Poop.