In which FHC does not have anything to sit on

How does one buy furniture for his apartment before one’s mother shows up? Do I have to order stuff from Crate & Barrel between now and December? Right now, I have nothing besides a bed (which mattress has seen more than it should at its age), a few forks from the Waldorf Astoria, a Botero, some African masks and a wooden wine rack I bought from Alex A. a few years ago. My roommate owns everything else including the TV, the plates, the porn and the vacuum cleaner and apparently he's getting married. If I don’t react very quickly I’ll soon have nothing to sit on and will have to cook my soups in a travel tea kettle. I have a dream that one day this will be my dirty dishes that I’ll get to leave in the sink. What I really need first is a comfortably beat-up armchair – a leather one - a really good one to read the paper, have witty conversations with myself (as I plan to unleash my schizophrenia once and for all) and watch the fireplace. As Rodolphe B. hinted yesterday evening, I am probably going to turn even more in a couch potato now that I’ll live by myself. On the other hand, I might also sober up because Kevin was clearly an enabler with all that alcohol flowing in the household. And maybe I’ll get a drum set too…and also an emperor scorpion (and also a fish tank) or a ferret to fill the emotional gap left by Olliver-D-Le-Chat.

In other news, last night I dreamt that my brother had his hand cut while doing catamaran but could not find any explanation for it on the web. If I hear another fag saying “Project Runway” or “oxymoron” I’ll explode. And finally, I have a question for you, what does “did if foul out” means?. See you at Results.

NDLR: Seat is the object ...on the other hand to sit is the verb.

Comments

[LL]

Well, you'll always have a microwave for spicy maryland stype crab soup from Safeway.