In which FHC dresses [poorly] for the part

As the premise of yesterday’s evening was that we would get to “hang out with the band”, I was expected to dress for the occasion with something like a groupie outfit. Specifically, I was told to wear “something charming and cute that is casual and fun”. Sadly, I have reached the point where one’s wardrobe only leave me him the choice between moving to an estate in the North of Sussex, stay home and watch TV or die. In the past two years, I have slowly classicized my outfits to the point that I only have stuff to wear for poetry readings, Yale alumni meetings and walks in the country. I must have thought I would remain married to a lawyer for the rest of my life at one point.. For an instant I really wanted to step in my closet and lit myself in fire to make a stronger statement than an entry in my silly  blog.

As I was running late and more depressed than usual, I finally digged out some tank-top with the inscription “Surf-fight” on the front which I covered with a ridiculously small vintage leather bomber. I put on my coolest pair of jeans and these ugly $10 sneakers on which I must have puked at least ten times. I found myself spending the evening with charmingly overdressed Portland people (and very talented ones… I loved their show) in that very uncomfortable costume feeling slightly foolish and listening to stories about weird and astonishing local customs.

In case, I had any doubt on the effect I managed to produce, Kevin D. welcomed me later that evening by telling me that “from far [I] look like a twink until one sees the saggy wrinkles on [my] face”. Great ! Because that’s the look I was going for.

Comments

[LL]

F don't you have such a cute wardrobe thanks to the Fagat inheritance?

[Russ W]

"... stay home and watch TV or die... in North Sussex." I resent that comment! There is so much more to do in Sussex.

[Old Fagat]

FHC mentioned a striped sweater when he called. We don´t recall giving away a striped sweater. LL, did you go through the clothes we actually LIKE?

[Old Fagat]

FHC mentioned a striped sweater when he called. We don´t recall giving away a striped sweater. LL, did you go through the clothes we actually LIKE?

[the publicist]

Dear FHC,

I'm sorry you were misinformed about our desired costumery, as we would have preferred a more classicized look, such as what one would wear for a Sunday ride in the country. Suspenders should always trump tank tops, and I could have gone without knowing the sneakers so close to our vegan brownie had been repeatedly coated in vomit. That said, I'm happy you didn't wear anything with pleats, as that's the hell I envision as capitol hill.

It was a pleasure being able to share our exotic local customs with you. I only regret not being a bit more coherent. I can barely remember that conversation, and I was entirely sober - except for that life on the road playing nanny to sick people bit. But do grab yourself a tie and come visit us in Portland.

P.S. It's unfortunate you were promised the band and ended up with the publicist. But I promise I'm preferably to the roadie, who'd talk your ear off and send you running back to the pile of faggots (in the historical sense), gasoline and matches in your closet for said self-immolation.