Having my mother around gives me the strange feeling that I am going through an audit of my life. Even if she does not seem to have found anything terribly wrong through the audit so far – even after an accidental run-in with Mark H. - the process has been a little stressful and energy consuming. As an example, I have been hiding my drinking problem and she thinks that I am addicted to drinking grapefruit juice with ice with dinner. The audit has quickly concluded that my dietary habits are awful (in her delightful little country you are considered unhealthy until you develop an eating disorder - preferably anorexia) because she has been compulsively buying organic vegetables at some silly-ass farmer’s market for me which I’ll obviously never eat and will rot on my kitchen table. She also met a few of my friends and none of them said the “Joan Crawford I presume?” I was so much waiting for.
Yet we all know this little visit could turn ugly anytime. I mean she hasn’t yet met all my real friends (oh but she will as I was silly enough to get tickets for Friday Septime’s performance of the Nutcracker Suite), nor has she discovered the living-in mice or my promiscuity related divorce with LL… All this mother- gay son bonding will definitely lead to something tragic, would it only be a shopping spree in NYC or Prostate Cancer. Note to self: check that she has a return ticket.
I bet you're gonna miss "mommy dearest" when she returns to Paris de France!!!
Posted by: Frederico C | Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 06:52 PM