Alcohol withdrawal makes me completely paranoid these days. Of course going directly to Cobalt without grabbing diner yesterday besides a crushed Xanax on a toast, which only kicked hours later anyway, had awful consequences and not only on my liver. Cobalt was very fine and I vaguely remember dancing with charming young men ast one point. However, I found myself a few hours later wondering the streets of Adam’s Morgan looking desperately for the new house. Carlos F. had kindly put me in the right direction but obviously it wasn’t sufficient. I eventually returned to Dupont Circle punched in the code of the Corcoran Retirement House and ended up sleeping on the doormat of our old apartment.
Anyway I woke up at dawn still drunk. Drank a lot of water with two Advils and made it to the Professional thingy a little late trying to look as sober as possible. However the entire day was awfully painful as I was in a complete state of paranoia. It’s a new thing; I used to have really happy hangovers back in my college days I remember. But not anymore, now not only am I exhausted, incapable of doing anything and suffer terrible memory loss but it also makes me completely paranoid. I have weird ideas like the feeling that cab drivers are out there to kill me when I am on my bike, that people are plotting against me, that my mother is not my real mother and that even blogging is dangerous. Perhaps I am just a little more lucid when I am hangover.
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