I watched “an inconvenient truth” yesterday night. Al made me so anxious that afterwards I had to go through that old cigar box labeled “the drugs house” which I keep on my nightstand. I finally found a gorgeous shiny valium pill which I cut it in half. I slept well, missed a booty call but wasn’t too disturbed by the future of our planet (actually valium makes me feel on another planet altogether…a much cleaner one too without gas flares, Bush administration and all that jazz). I woke up at 12:44 p.m. and have been starring at the ceiling since then while listening to “The best of Disney, Vol II”. Perhaps Valium is the real answer to Global Warming.
I think it shouldn’t feel too concerned though!. I have already adopted in my usual selfless manner the environmentally friendly sexuality. I even switched from lube to spit. Just kidding. But seriously, in many ways, homosexuals are at the forefront of environmental-friendly behavior. Firstly most homosexuals don’t breed: they recycle other people’s kids. They don’t place any additional burden on our planet. Additionally, we don’t repress our sexual frustrations by driving huge SUVs (Kevin D. and Ryan T. excluded) and are the biggest eaters of organic broccoli. We also don’t vote for Republicans (Thomas B. and Jim M. excluded). Well I don’t get to vote because I am a dirty Kyoto treaty ratifying foreigner but you do. And in the case of dearest LL, we don’t even pee in international ecological reserves and prefer to put our life (and the lives of two lifegiards) in danger than risking killing protected vegetal. So straight and bisexual readers, we strongly suggest that as a 2007 resolution, you switch to the environmentally-conscious way of having sex: the homosexual one.
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