Dear M,
I was quite sad not to find any e-mail from you today when they let us access our e-mail besides some junk that you had sent out. I felt a little abandoned. I mean nobody writes to me besides Russ and my landlord these days. The curricular is so long and painful particularly as I am now experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms and have to do stupid group exercise with other patients. The road to recovery is just so f***ing boring and full of unberabble and akward social interraction. No wonder anybody takes it willingly. I really preferred the whole “I am a drunk” thing: at least I did not have to hug strangers. One of the game today consisted in filling in the blank in the sentence: "FHC was drunk at ______”: I definitely won on the spatial scope of my drunkenness. Of course I am on my best behavior now that DC police accepted to drop the charges for the whole “drunken rampage” thingy even if I am told I kicked a deputy in the groin [I highly doubt that because I did not even know the word “groin” before I was checked in here]. At least I did not say anything anti-semitic, LL wouldn't have forgiven me. Anyway, I have to be careful because any sign that I am pissed off might be misinterpreted. I started to smile a lot even if it hurts and makes cheerful little signs with my hands when I see other patients. I have to swallow benzodiazepine pills the size of peanuts with green tea constantly (as if I was not sufficiently dependent on prescription drugs already) and had terrible nightmares about my mother last night. I have also started to gain weight. A nurse told me that Aaron Carter gained even more the first few days he was here so I felt better. I was also told that eventually I should practice hooking up sober, something I never did in my life therefore I think we should keep in touch.
Your sedated friend
PS: could you check that there is not more Waldorf Astoria silverware going on sale on ebay during my “absence”
Dear F.,
Sorry I haven't written earlier. But between the AFC Championship, the Australian Open, and American Idol, I've been quite busy this week.
I heard about the "incidents" that happened repeatedly when you were unconscious. How dreadful. I guess I don't understand why you still keep on asking the nurse to sedate you every night, but then I've never been to rehab. Whatever the case, I'll drop off some bulking agents tomorrow when I stop by. Maybe that will help! http://www.fascrs.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=3
To God Be The Glory,
M.
Posted by: M. | Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 07:42 PM
Mmm, your auto reply indicated you were out of the office... have you been sneaking back at night? But more importantly why did you not reply?
Posted by: Russ W. | Friday, January 26, 2007 at 04:05 PM
What the hell is going on?
Posted by: Old Fagat | Friday, January 26, 2007 at 06:27 PM