In which FHC will eventually go to sleep in some random white heaven

I felt sick all day. Thanks for asking. I have a terrible sore throat and my palms are clammy. It becomes more and more obvious that I will be flying out to the unnamed destination on Monday for at least two weeks. It really feels like the best decision after the Saturday night youtube incidents. Also Mark publicly acknowledged developing some Xanax addiction and plotting with Ed M. to poison his guests on Saturday (I quote: “by keeping adding dry ice until everyone is dead”). My publicist, who is handling all post-dinner "issues", has been downplaying the whole thing as the mere consequence of mixing alcohol and harmless drugs prescribed for some blood pressure issue I do not have. But we all know that the truth is that I became so very good at spotting and medicating psychological problems in my friends but less keen at seeing them in my own behavior. I might just be a vapid little creature myself (not as much as them, of course, I am European).

I mean all this partying, the friendsterization, the myspacization, the facebookization, everybody constant insolence, the “Populus vult decipi, decipiatur" line at the bottom of Mark’s e-mails, my stock portfolio crashing, not knowing my blood type, listening to "I want to dance with somebody" made me feel a little hazy and sick to my stomach. I will enjoy being bored to tears in some moldy hotel room for a while. It reminds me of that French song I loved in my youth called “le Paradis Blanc” (the white heaven – I strongly suggest you watch the video for your own sake and maybe learn a few lyrics and then recite them to me with your thick American accent). And they pretend they never noticed I was gay. The song is about laying down with polar bears and playing with Penguins but really I know it’s about crushing Xanax tablets and snorting them while having the fog machine at its max. It’s also all about nuclear winter, being too kind with North Korea and Aish Passaic I will be leaving behind many very competent doctors; most of them listed as Washingtonian Magazine top docs.

Comments

[Old Fagat]

This post (and picture) makes me very much worry (and pine) for you.

[LL]

Stop pining. We have enough problems as it is.

[Mark H.]

Another interpretation of these past few weeks (or maybe the same, only stated differently?):

The moments of happiness—not the sense of well-being,
Fruition, fulfilment, security or affection,
Or even a very good dinner, but the sudden illumination—
We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience....

[Tim]

Is this what friendship with Mark H. drives you to? It's no wonder you harbor the parasite in hopes of a quick death.

[sjkolxb ngoymwv]

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